Nag Less, Argue Less With This Plan
Creativity Required In Applying Strategy
Last updated Monday, December 15, 2008 4:23 PM CST in Your Family
By Tom McMahon
SPECIAL TO THE MORNING NEWS
The discipline strategy of "Natural Consequences" allows the logical consequences of a situation to take place without parental interference. It always offers a choice, and it promotes self-discipline.
Example: A parent tires of nagging her daughter to do her homework each evening, so she stops nagging and allows natural consequences to take over. Her daughter does not turn in her English homework for two weeks, at which time she shows her mother a note from her teacher. The note informs the daughter that she may have to repeat sophomore English next year. The mother tells her daughter that the issue is between her and her teacher. "Remember," says her mother, "I'm not involved in homework battles anymore." Not wanting to miss graduating with her peers, the daughter begins catching up with her homework without any nagging from anyone.
Be creative in using this strategy; there are infinite applications (curfews, chores, breaking a rule, etc.). However, Natural Consequences is not recommended for potentially dangerous activities.
Thanks to the parents who sent in a favorite tip this week. Enjoy spending time with your family.
'What's The Consequence?'
Our children know exactly what the consequence will be if they do not abide by our rules. If my daughter does not complete a household chore, she will be assigned an additional chore to do. If my son does not get his dirty clothes to the laundry room by Saturday morning, he will not have clean clothes for school unless he washes them himself. And so on. When they break a family rule, I simply say, "What's the consequence?" There is no arguing, no yelling or hurt feelings. They learn quickly that it is easier to follow the rules than to have the consequence. -- P.T. Ring, Minneapolis
Holiday Activities
Instead of using a typical advent calendar this year, I have organized daily holiday activities for our children: Write letters to Santa, get a photo with Santa, watch a Christmas parade, decorate the tree, wrap presents for teachers, gather up old toys to donate, bake cookies for neighbors, take an evening drive to see Christmas lights, etc. On Christmas Eve, we set out cookies for Santa. Cut out Christmas trees or other holiday shapes from construction paper. (You can use die cuts from teaching-supply or arts-and-crafts stores.) Then write one activity per shape, and number the shapes for each day leading up to Dec. 24. Tie a ribbon through a hole at the top of the shape and hang from the mantel or a fake tree. Each day the kids will have a fun activity. -- L. Knowlton, San Marcos, Calif.
Easy Dressing
Putting long-sleeved clothing items on small children often can be a chore because their thumbs get caught inside the sleeve. If you first put a small sock on each of their little hands, their arms will glide right up the sleeve with no problem. -- D. Markitan, Martinsville, Ind.
Christmas Toys
Last year my husband and I started a new Christmas Eve tradition. Instead of spending so much time wrapping presents for our children, we make each present more accessible and ready to go for Christmas morning. We undo all or most of the packaging of the presents. We take off all the ties, plastic bindings, tape, etc., that hold dolls and toys in their packaging, and install batteries when needed. -- Mrs. Daryn R., Concord, Calif.
Tom McMahon is a syndicated columnist, college professor and author. Send tips to tom@kidtips.com. Kid Tips is distributed by King Features Syndicate.
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