And Now, Christmas Wishes
Last updated Friday, December 19, 2008 8:35 PM CST in Columns
By David Sanders
With chestnuts roasting on the open fire and Jack Frost nipping at my nose, Nat King Cole's wonderfully warm vocals stem the horripilation from all the cold air and remind me of the season's magnificent accouterments.
At the Sanders' home, "Miracle on 34th Street," "Rudolph the Red-Nosed Reindeer," "It's a Wonderful Life" and "Frosty the Snowman" are all recorded on the DVR ready to play at a moment's notice.
Meanwhile in other holiday news, I'm now coming to terms with the fact that next year, when I tune in to watch the "Christmas in Washington" special, President Obama will preside over the evening's festivities. I know he's keeping on President Bush's defense and intelligence appointees, but surely he'll insist on someone other than Dr. Phil to host the annual event -- it'll probably be Oprah.
Nonetheless during this season of peace, hope and love, bolstered by the belief that it is more blessed to give than to receive, it's time to spread holiday cheer with my traditional Christmas list. For you new readers, it's my small way of giving back to those blessed (and not-so-blessed) individuals who have provided me so much material with which to fill this space.
Let's start at the top.
President George W. Bush: It's been eight long years, years that have taken a toll on the outgoing chief executive. Sure there were a few high points, but as he prepares to clean out his desk, both his popularity and principles have evaporated. Since the once-professing, free-market conservative will leave the country with sectors of the economy either completely or partially nationalized and, lest I forget, a federal government spending away our future economic freedom, it's only fitting that he receive a lump of coal. And, not the clean-burning variety so many Democrats want to tax out of existence, but rather the nasty stuff that everyone hates.
Vice President Dick Cheney: That he would allow the administration to even consider a bailout of the U.S. auto industry using dollars intended to keep credit markets from seizing is completely disappointing. I'm not trying to be a Grinch, but what could possibly be worse than coal? Perhaps a cardigan or maybe one of those shower-radios that rarely works.
President-elect Barack Obama: Have you ever been around a person who tries to stop smoking? As their bodies crave nicotine, they become a nervous, irritable mess. Since the president-to-be is learning how to cope with a little negative press coverage from established media outlets -- something he rarely encountered on the campaign trail -- he needs all his faculties. Therefore, this Christmas, it's a carton of filterless Camels for the tough times that lie ahead. And, enough nicotine gum to keep him from falling off the wagon when self-control is the order of the day. I'll also throw in a little hopeful audacity.
Vice President-elect Joe Biden: I see his partnership with Obama going the way of Tony Romo and Terrell Owens, two men I absolutely admire for their competitive gridiron play, but whose relationship is complicated and plagued by friction. The analogy's not perfect by any means, but, like T.O., Biden longs too much for the spotlight and can't keep quiet. Like Romo, Obama is settled -- the duo's more mature component. It's simple, for Mr. Biden this Christmas, it's humble pie and duct tape.
Harry Reid and Nancy Pelosi: Along with their impatience and proclivity for overreaching -- matching stress balls. They're not going to get what they want when they want it, so it's probably better they take out their frustrations on malleable objects rather than some unsuspecting back-bencher or office aide.
House and Senate Republicans: Boldness and a full set of vertebrae for their moderate members.
Gov. Mike Beebe: Well, he does have everything.
Sen. Blanche Lincoln: For her indecision, a copy of Mike Huckabee's book, "Do the Right Thing."
And, for Arkansas' military men and women: Peace and safety as many of them serve in harm's way.
Merry Christmas.
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